Living between the lines

Nepal Everest Trip

2009-09-25T17:00:00.000-07:00

My time in Glasgow is coming to an end. It's time to move on. But before I go on to bigger and better things (here's me hoping), I'll go to Nepal first.
If everything works out I'll be texting updates to twitter (tomretwit). Hopefully I'll make it to the Everest Base Camp.

Obama To Hold Performance Review With All American Workers

2009-06-28T17:49:00.001-07:00

This is what I'm writing my dissertation about. Process Improvement and all the rubbish Guru talk that goes with it.

The end of the Fringe, the end of Edinburgh

2008-09-09T14:08:00.000-07:00

The Fringe is over. It has been over for a while now.
The last show I saw was aluminium:

A great visual and musical experience, which reminded me a bit of the Blue Man Group show. The Aluminium crew did some impressive dancing and were very inventive with the material they used. The techno/industrial music was a great fit and audience participation was also allowed.

A thousand years of German humour and an hour of Irish madness

2008-08-11T16:00:00.000-07:00

Sunday I tried to reconnect with my "teutonic" roots. Unfortunately I chose stand-up comedy as the connecting device. Strangely enough there was a response but leaving the show called "a thousand years of german humour" I wondered whether my (and everyone else's) laughter was saying less about German stand-up comedy but more about British politeness. It wasn't actually funny, witty or skillfull but kind of blunt and alienating. The Scottish are good at joking and laughing about themselves but like so often, people who are open and willing to criticise themselves, will soon find that other groups pick up on their jokes and use them against them.
Yes Germans are still a great target for cheap jokes in the UK, but often there is a twist that makes the British look foolish for their old beliefs.
Here is Dylan Moran, an Irish Comedian and star of the TV Series, Black Books, on Germany.

He is said to be hanging around Edinburgh quite a bit too. Probably drunk.
Another maniac Irish man (there seem to be so many) is Jason Byrnes. I went to see his stand-up straight after the German one.
His topics were quite generic (men, women, sex, children), but the material was mad as Cats Under Mats Having Chats With Bats (like when he started talking about how he tried to convince his son of the tooth fairy by putting tiny footprints all over his face, while he was asleep).
The audience interaction was quite harsh at times but he brought it all to a great end by performing an Irish Dance with the people he had been mocking at the end.
Here he is in 2007:

Next up is concert by the frightened rabbits and the twilight sad.

Michael McIntyre versus ME!

2008-08-07T11:26:00.000-07:00

It just goes on and on! Last week I went to see Michael McIntyre at the Pleasance. The review in the Scotsman was quite fair and basically said that he was hillarious (he was), even though his material was weak (it was).
Here is one of his performances (though it wasn't part of his show) :

I also went to the GRV pub where I took part in the Joke-e-okee competition. It's like karaoke except that people don't sing on stage but read out jokes which appear on a teleprompter.
Depending on the audience reaction to your joke reading skills, you are allowed to get to the next round. And here's the best bit: I won the competition! Woop me! Here's an example.. I'll try and get my own performance of Rachel who was filming it.

In the middle of the Fringe

2008-08-04T15:18:00.000-07:00

The Edinburgh Fringe 2008. Amazing!
I'm truly impressed. The fringe has just started and already I'm swept away by the amount of talent and non-talent on display.
My brother was visiting me and out of pure chance we ended up going to see Tim Minchin at the Pleasance with "Ready for this".

I can only recommend his show, as its the funniest combination between music and dark humour imaginable. Indeed it was so funny that I recommended it to Neil Patrick Harris when I met him outside the underbelly. Unfortunately I was quite intoxicated and made a bit of fool of myself, by talking about his iPhone.

Curious as to what this hollywood star was doing in Edinburgh (apart from enjoying the great shows) I did a short search. It turns out that he is directing a show featuring Guy Hollingworth a great storyteller and magician. I went to see the show with a friend and sure enough NPH was there too. The show was refreshingly charming, with subtle humour and a finely tuned atmosphere that Guy would manipulate depending on the part of the story he was telling. The magic tricks helped lighten up the dark story and create suspense when needed.

(http://www.guy-hollingworth.com/)
Storytelling is something of a dying art and it is good to see it being employed so well in combination with card tricks.
I also went to the Gaghole, a venue above the Counting House, where I saw a comedy stand up as part of the free fringe. While the first comedians were mediocre, the last one, a black guy called White was really funny (which is a lame way to describe a comedian). His God is Big Brother impression was hillarious.

I'm looking forward to seeing some more shows, and should I meet Neil Patrick Harris again, I'll ask for a picture with him.

What happened after that

2008-07-05T16:56:00.000-07:00

I've finished my dissertation, handed it in, got the result, waited a month, got my bachelor with honours certificate, went to the graduation ceremony and graduation ball.
So the Stirling chapter is closed. I have got lots of fond memories, others which still pain me and others which seem like from a strange dream.
I hope that I have touched and connected with some people there and that this connection was strong enough for them to stay in touch with me.

Dissertation

2008-02-29T14:02:00.001-08:00

I'm currently swamped with my work on my dissertation. Nonetheless I feel like taking up writing again. One thing that interested me was "flash fiction". And since I just don't know when enough is enough I called my site sudden micro flash fiction.
You can find it here:
http://suddenmicroflash.blogspot.com/
Enjoy

Back in Scotland

2007-09-10T12:09:00.000-07:00

So I'm back in Scotland and the next challenge is a Radio Drama production for my course. Also I'll try to finish best in the Marketing Research module. Why?
Well after being a social maniac last semester I want to concentrate more on my studies and sport. Also I think I'll really enjoy the Radio project. And best of all if I do well at my research proposal for MR I might be able to get a paid internship with MRUK!
In which case I'll be able to elaborate on my work there on my professional life blog here:
http://dream-act.blogspot.com
Okay all together now:

ALL THE BEST THOMAS!

Cheers.
t

P.S.: Hopefully my ankle will heal soon so I can go running with the athletics society again!

My trip to India

2007-09-04T11:22:00.000-07:00

It has been a while now and a very exciting month lies behind me.
India was an intense experience and I'm very glad I went. From busy overpopulated dirty Delhi to India's world wonder the Taj Mahal in dirty Agra and the paradise in the south of India, Kerala, each place was a challenge with great rewards.
Here are some pictures from Kerala, my favourite place:

And here a map of India with places I visited and comments:

View Larger Map

I sunk my teeth into utter madness...

2007-04-02T13:16:00.000-07:00

.. and it tasted like death and fear

What is it like? Were you afraid? Would you do it again?

Let me start at the beginning where all things start before they end.

It started nowhere.

The Gleneagles trainstation (map). I expected it to be a little idyllic village in the highlands. I was wrong. The G8 summit had been there (disrupted by the terror attacks on London) but actually there is NOTHING there, except for a fancy hotel and that was another mile of or so away from the trainstation.
From there we (Ross - a jumping collegue who had been once before a couple of months ago) got a taxi to the Strathallan Airport.

There was a lot of Tandem Jumping going on when we arrived, but otherwise there weren't many people at the airport - which was strange considering the excellent weather.

It looks really nice and easy. Tandem probably is :-P
We were there for an hour enjoying the sun waiting for our training to start.

Before (guantamo prospect)

Then our names were called through the loudspeaker. We were next and were supposed to go to the kit up area. Was I nervous? No. I was more excited in a happy way. A giggle was in my belly and wanted out. I had run my lips over the apple of madness, but had not yet pierced its skin.
We got all kitted up (swimvest, orange suit, parachute (!), altometer, radio) and had our equipment checked (my parachute was fiddled around with by one of the instructors which freaked me out a bit).

After (Bye bye world)

Then off we went to the plane.

The plane is tiny 4 people + the pilot are squashed inside. Ross's leg was dangling out of the open door for the whole flight.
The first thing I realized was that the sounds were really distressing. The aircraft's rotor was like a billion bees ready to attack and the when the aircraft took of the rushing of the wind made all conversation impossible.

Apart from the occasional yelling of comands from the instructor to the pilot everybody was left to ponder on their own thoughts and fears.
A constant grin was frozen on my lips and my mind was caught in constant turmoil. Antilopes of fear were chased by adrenaline tigers - the awe and beauty of the heavenly view was challenged by the infernal turns and tips the tiny little plane made.
I was the first to jump. Once we reached 3500 feet (1066 meters) I had to sit at the door. I looked at the horizon while the pilot searched for the right area to drop me off. Wild turns and motion sickness send stabs of fear at me, each one parried by even more adrenaline induced prayers, curses and love pledges to invisible gods and demons. I concentrated on the face of my instructor seeking security in her features.

Then the engines die down. The plane slows down for a couple of seconds creating a short window for the parachutist to jump. I hear the command "GO!" and push myself out of the door.

It is like commiting suicide. Writing these lines I am hanging in the sky. Blind fear cancelling out everything. Words cannot describe. Lips cannot move.

As soon as you push yourself away from the aircraft all control is lost. A short moment of ultimate fear creates unconciousness, but then it returns and the sensation of falling without constraint bursts into your head, ripping your eyes wide open. In those seconds I have experienced the most intense sensation of fear in my life. The fear of imminent death.

Suddenly my body changes position and I remember to look above me and to check my canopy. It's there. It's big, recangular and it's making sure that I'm not going to die that easily.
You'd think I was relieved now. I wasn't. I felt so tiny and vulnerable with a only a couple of flimsy cords and strings to protect me from falling 3500 feet.
"Fuck"
and
"shit"
were words I uttered for the rest of my journey downwards. In fact I don't remember that jump very well anymore. The worries about my equipment (and life) were my prime concern. I landed all right and my legs collapsed beneath me. Still cursing I packed my parachute together and headed back to the airport.
If I stopped here you'd think skydiving is a shit experience. But you'd be wrong. The word "fun" or "shit" cannot describe the sensation. They lack depth and power and reality. TV series can be shit, a party can be fun. But skydiving?
To be honest I didn't want to do it again. But somehow this experience was different from everything else and it was a reality like you don't get to taste very often. Which is why I paid 100 pounds for 4 jumps in advance.

My next jump went alot better. I suppose I was emotionally drained and during the flight I was not as scared anymore. When it came to jumping... the same fear took hold of me, but as soon as the parachute was open and I was holding the toggles in my hand I concentrated on enjoying the view for once and worry less about falling out of my parachute.
And it was beautiful.

The little white blob is me

I was circling above fields and forests and a river was snaking it's way through the countryside (map). Hills embellished the horizon and by pulling my toggles I could excercise control over what I saw and what direction I flew in. I was hoovering above the spectators at the airport - tiny dots in my distant world.

My landing was a bit rougher this time. I pulled my toggles to early and slowed down too quickly. Still I stayed on my feet (quite a feat actually) picked up my parachute and made my way back to the airport quite happily (I was giggling to myself and sobbing a bit too).
Skydiving is insane.

I did jump another time after that, trying a "dummy pull" (so far my parachute opened automatically after leaving the plane via a cord that was attached to it). But because a different plane took us up and a different instructor was with us and the pilot having problems finding the drop zone I was freaked out by the time I jumped and unable to reach for it.
Freefall is the next aim, which means that while falling you have to pull the cord to deploy your parachute. It's not easy because you have to maintain a good body position, otherwise you are flung around in the sky and might get tangled up in your parachute (not good).
So will I do it again? Yes. Was I afraid? Yes. As to what it was like:

That sunday I sunk my teeth into utter madness three times and it tasted sublime.

The ground is the limit

2007-03-18T09:38:00.000-07:00

Hey Kids!
I'm sure you all want to hear about my skydiving experience. Well tough luck! I'm having none of it.
Unfortunately the weather was not favourable and I (nor anyone else) was allowed to jump this saturday. It really was a very windy day.
Well I used the time (9am to 6pm!!) to take some pictures of the airport:

The first one is the plane that takes us up into the sky. It's called "drop" which doesn't really radiate confidence..

"Can you see the writing on the wall?" CHECK YOUR CANOPY. Very important (sucks if you don't have one) so it's printed all over the place.

Those red bundles are the parachutes. To be accurate the blue ones in the back are the ones we use. The red ones are round I think while ours are square.

Finally the inside of the plane. Yes it all looks very old and tattered, but they are maintained alot so there's not too much to worry about.

Well that's about it. Next weekend I'll be up at the airport again and who knows what happens!
Until then take care kids
t

It's a dangerous sport

2007-02-25T09:30:00.000-08:00

Archthousand! Twothousand! Threethousand! Fourthousand! Check Canopy!

2007-02-25T09:08:00.000-08:00

Dear children of the sun, the moon and the stars,

Yesterday I had my first Skydiving training session. I got there at 9am and left at 6pm. And yet it was fun.
So what did I do?
Obviously we learned about the gear (or "kit") and how it works. How to maneuver in the sky. What happens when you pull this or that handle and what to do in case of a malfunction.
There's a drill that you have to be able to do when your parachute fails to open or something else really shitty happens.
You scream:
"Malfunction" (So your brain recognizes that you are going through a procedure)
"Look" (you look for your cut away handle which releases the broken parachute)
"Cut away" (you pull the handle and the malfunctioning parachute is cast off)
"Reserve" (you pull the reserve handle to open the emergency parachute)
"Arch" (you arch your back to be stable in the sky, instead of hurling around).

Arching your back and spreading your limbs is really important when leaving the plane also because otherwise you might get entangled in your parachute. That means you're f***** (fucked). You have to disentangle yourself while falling because if you just cut the parachute away you might still be caught in the strings and when you open your reserve it will just get caught up in your main parachute.
That's why after jumping you have to yell: "Archthousand (you arch your pack and spread your limbs), Two thousand, Three thousand, Four thousand (the Parachute should be fully deployed by now), Check Canopy (you check the canopy to see if it's alright or if there's a malfunction).

I haven't actually jumped yet because we finished rather late yesterday and the weather was bad. Maybe if I had gone to the airport today I would have been allowed to do my first jump.
The first couple of jumps you are connected to a static line that is connected to the plane. You jump and the static line gets the parachute out of your kit. So you don't have to do anything except take on a stable position in the sky.

It all sounds really exciting and I'm looking forward to my first jump. Hope I'll do well, because then I can move to free fall jumps afterwards.
t

Baptised at St. Longbar

2007-02-20T09:41:00.000-08:00

Dear congregation,

In an attempt to test my levitation skills I've joined the local Skydiving group. Let's see whether defying gravity will make me any more vain. Now all I need is a red pair of pants and blue tights. Hum.. might have those somewhere in my drawers.
My training session is going to be this Saturday (24.02.07) and if everything goes alright I might be able to jump that day.. yay.
Financially it's quite feasable: 120GBP (180€) for a training session and 25GBP (38€) a jump. Considering that you are actually getting somebody to fly you up into the sky just so you can jump out of a perfectly working plane - it's justified.
After the meeting we went to the longbar for a chat. Strangely enough there were quite a few "computer studies" students there. Now being a bit of a computer wizkid (or nerd/geek as some bigots might call us) myself I won't talk badly about them. In fact since technology is the driving force in our society for advancement, I regard the work they do (i.e. play world of warcraft all day) as highly important. I just suppose that after sitting at a computer all day trying to figure out why the bloomin' program won't get "hello world" on the screen, jumping out of a plane can be rather liberating.
Ok this post:

Used the words "gravity", "levitation", "vain" in the first two sentences. This was a hint towards the words "gravitas", "levity" and "vanitas". Be aware though that although similar sounding each word has a different meaning. Bitch.
Made a hint towards superman and pretended I had tights and red pants in my drawers.
Outed me as an Ubergeek and all the cool people didn't understand my incredibly funny geek jokes. Haha. They are funny. Seriously. You suck too.
Claimed that society was driven by technology instead of the other way round. Fo shizzle!

And he saw it was good.
t

What do all those words mean?

2007-02-19T09:45:00.000-08:00

Hello dear followers of the sacred path of levity through elucidating the conflict of gravitas in an existance dominated by vanitas,

FAQ:
Q: What the *bleep* are you talking about?

A: Let me explain grasshoper:
Hello: A form of greeting somebody
dear: Word that shows I hold you in high regard
followers: Somebody who follows somebody
of: A word that associates someone/thing with the word that comes afterwards

Ok I'll stop this shit and get on with it:
Gravitas: seriousness in bearing or manner; dignity
Vanitas: reminder of the transience of life, the futility of pleasure and the certainty of death, encouraging a sombre world view.
Levity: lightness of manner or speech, frivolity
lack of steadiness
quotations: * "...it would really seem as if there was something nomadic in our natures, a principle of levity and restlessness..." — Robert Montgomery Bird (1806-1854)
fickleness

Now my dear alcolyte I am no great philosopher or master of the arts, in fact I was just looking for words that sounded cool and so I came up wit those three.
Combined they do ask an important question: How do we live a life that is basically futile, where everything we do will become dust with time, how do we live it sincerely with each other and how do we bring in our frivolous nature to spice everything up a bit?

Don't have a clue. But perhaps this documentation of my live will shed light on this very well formulated question. I don't think so though.

Q: Will you write about how you clipped your fingernails just the other day? How you stubbed your toe? How nobody understands you? How your life is a mess because your boyfriend is such an idiot and goes to pubs with his pals but never asks you to come? How bored you are just now and that nothing is actually happening but you thought it was important to tell this everybody in the whole world?

A: Of course. Apart from the boyfriend thing.. I'm not a 13 year old girl. Although I'd like to be.

Yours faithfully
t